This week has been a trying week for me on a personal level.
If you have referred to this blog before, you know well that I am a pacifist. I don't understand, condone, advocate, or tolerate any form of violence. I think it is wrong, and that there are other ways to resolve disputes. Yet I have had to struggle with my own beliefs this week due to the loss of a former neighbor and friend at the hands of an unprecedented act of violence.
I have had to struggle with my emotions because he was not free of violent activity himself and have therefore struggled with my own reaction and grief at news of his death. I am stunned, and shocked, but not necessarily surprised. I feel ill, and upset, and sad.
Most of all, I feel anger at the fact that the media had for the most part focused on affiliations, and not on the fact that they are human beings, just like you and I. Surprisingly enough it has been The Sun that has printed stories giving these men a human quality rather than that of gangsters and thugs. They loved, they laughed and they cried...they were no different than you and I. They had families, were brothers, husbands, sons and fathers. They were friends and neighbors. They owned pets, they went shopping, and they treated others with respect. They were not devils in angels clothing. They were good people, and they did good things. Yet they did break the law, they were "outcasts" and they did get involved with people and activities that eventually lead to their demise.
Why makes one chose to lead a life ripe with violent activity... Is it solely the search for a position of power and influence.... Is it the adrenalin rush that comes with the act... What draws them into a life of violence in the first place? Perhaps it is the freedom that the lifestyle claims to uphold.
These questions have weighed heavily on my mind this week.
And what would make someone commit such a horrific act as murder? To willingly take away the most precious thing to anyone, life.
War takes lives everyday. Disease and inaction do the same. Hunger, starvation, and greed and indifference do the same. Yet what is it that would push someone so far as to believe this is the "right" thing to do?
The only answer that make sense to me, is fear. Fear for one's own life and ones that they hold very dear to them. It is the only thing that I could think of that could possibly bring someone to commit such horrific acts. I suppose that this assumes that one is in their "right" mind in the first place. If not, then I suppose I can't even begin to analyse their reasons.
Anyways...I have been forced to look at my own beliefs from a perspective I have never had to hold before. They say that perceptions develop out of ones experiences, exposures and teaching in life, and I have finally begun to realize the real truth in that statement. I also realize that the best thing that I can do, is morn the passing of those that have touched our lives, hope that there will be less violence in the future, and appreciate those around us for all of the good qualities that they have to offer and not what others that do not know them perceive them to be.
Human beings come in all shapes and sizes, from different backgrounds and grow to be who they are by their own experiences and exposures in life. It makes no sense to take the one raw and pure thing from them...their life. Thank goodness for memories, or else life would perhaps be meaningless after all.
